As a survivor of intimate partner violence, I love to read romance novels about survivors finding love and safety as they recover from abuse. While their lives are not defined by past trauma, their trauma does inform how they experience intimacy, trust and pleasure. Romance novels that show compassion for survivors and depict them as heroes and heroines taking charge of their lives do important work to de-stigmatize conversations about domestic violence. Through storytelling, they put a human face on the psychological process of recovery and healing, as well as what toxic and dangerous relationships can look like.

Romance genre conventions promise readers that no matter the dark subject matter explored — and no matter the pain the characters endure — everything will be okay. These books send a powerful message that no one deserves to be abused, and that survivors of abuse deserve happy endings with respectful, empathetic, and swoon-worthy partners.

No Ordinary Love by Myah Ariel

Pop superstar Ella Simone is in the middle of a contentious legal battle with her unfaithful and emotionally abusive husband. The last thing she needs is bad press, but after a wardrobe malfunction at an awards show, she and baseball player Miles Westbrook make headlines with their scorching chemistry. This a beautiful celebrity romance about the many forms abuse can take, and learning to open yourself up to love again after having your trust broken.

I had the opportunity to interview Myah Ariel about the book on my podcast, Rebel Ever After. She said, “When you're in a relationship, you might think, ‘I'm not being hit, I'm not being pushed, so this isn’t abuse.’ But I think it's important to realize that abuse has levels, it has shades, it has colors, and it comes in many of them. Just because you've not been bruised or battered does not mean that you haven't been abused.”

[Content warning: Ella's abuser is a character on-page and litigation abuse is continuous.]

Love and Other Conspiracies by Mallory Marlowe

Hallie Barrett is still reeling from her breakup with an abusive coworker at a Buzzfeed-like media company when she's tasked with producing a viral new web series. She teams up with cryptid expert Hayden Hargrove to host a show about the unexplained, and sparks fly as they investigate the Moth Man, Area 51 and other classic conspiracy theories. But will their show perform better than her narcissistic ex's?

Mallory Marlowe and I talked about abusive workplaces and where she found inspiration for Hallie's growth on Rebel Ever After. She said, "I wanted to take those feelings that I had on my own journey of rediscovering my worth and rediscovering that I was smart, that I was valuable, that I should have been a valued team member. I'm a valued person. You don't realize how deep it gets into your psyche until you're taking a step back and starting to heal. I wanted to channel a lot of that pain that I felt into healing for Hallie."

[Content warning: Hallie's abuser is a character on-page and continues to emotionally abuse her at work and online.]

Pas de Don't by Chloe Angyal

Ballet dancer Heather Hayes is at the peak of her career when she learns her fiancé Jack has been cheating on her with another woman in the company. To get away from him, she moves across the world to dance with the Australian National Ballet. The ANB has a strict no-dating policy for its dancers, but her tour guide Marcus is hard to resist... and the perfect foil for her ex. Chloe Angyal writes with compassion about the slow, insidious nature of emotional abuse and how patriarchal institutions protect abusers.

A Delicate Seduction by Regina Kammer

Percival Wood, the Marquess of Norrington, reunites with his old friend Bertram Atherley, the Viscount Ravensburgh, for a Grand Tour of Europe after the death of his controlling partner. This lovely queer historical romance focuses on Percival as he finds joy and understanding now that he is free from abuse, while he still navigates the lingering effects of trauma.

The Duchess Takes a Husband by Harper St. George

After the death of her abusive husband, Camille, the Duchess of Hereford, wants to experience sexual pleasure and reclaim her sense of self. She turns to Jacob Thorne, the illegitimate son of an earl and a co-owner of an infamous private club. Jacob is the perfect partner for a recovering survivor: he is patient, generous, and wildly sexy. This Gilded Age historical romance is one of my personal favorites.

On Rebel Ever After, Harper St. George shared her experience writing the book with me. She said, "It wasn't a book I was looking forward to writing for emotional reasons, but I knew I needed to write her story. It was sort of healing to write it. I'm glad that it landed so well. When I go to reader events, people will come up to me and tell me that that book really meant a lot to them on their own healing journey. It's great to get feedback that it landed, because that's what I want my books to do. They can get awards or star reviews or whatever, but for me, what really hits me and resonates with me is when people tell me, 'Oh, that really helped me at a time when I needed it.'"

Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

In this wildly popular contemporary rom-com, Chloe Brown is in a rut due to living with a chronic illness. She creates a list of adventures to have and recruits handyman Redford ‘Red’ Morgan to help her break out of her shell. Meanwhile, Red is slowly healing from a past relationship with an abusive ex-girlfriend. The two learn to meet each other's needs even as they butt heads. It's a sweet pleasure to watch them open up to new experiences and love.

But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson

BONUS! My own romance novel is about a survivor of emotional abuse who thinks she's healed from her traumatic relationship in college... only to come face to face with the past at her college reunion. I worked hard to represent PTSD and how abuse makes survivors skittish about asking for help and trusting new partners.

If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, you are not alone. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can anonymously offer you support and resources here.

Please know that no one deserves to be abused, whether that abuse is emotional, financial, physical or digital. You can read my essays about abuse and trauma recovery here.